Saturday, March 27, 2010

My Childhood world, Upside Down

My family is in the process of getting ready to move. One of the things which has come down from its place is an old painting my Mother did of my brother and I with our aunt, who was our age, playing on the fence at my Paw Paw's old farm.

The painting was a gift to my grandparents from my Mom many years ago, and given to me after they died. I took a break from packing and as I paused to reflect, I noticed the painting leaning against the house, upside down. It looks so much different from that angle - like a whole different world. I noticed how much more detail she paid to painting us, (which was a tiny portion of the space on the canvas) than she did in the rest of the picture. She managed to make us the focal point in an otherwise unbalanced setting. I suppose that is pretty much how she took care of us, too. Keeping her mind focused on her kids, not worrying, or even thinking, about much else. We used to call her "Super-Mom".

Now that I have a kid of my own, I realize I can never be that kind of parent. As much as I do truly adore my son, I have to let him find his own soul, rather than filling it up for him. I do not know if allowing him room to fall is the best path, but I would rather let him fall now, when I can be there to help him up. My mother, though she does not have a lot, is one of the most giving people I know, and even now, in her 70's, she is still giving all she can to her children and grandchildren. She frequently denies herself so that her children might have what they need. It bothers me that at 46, I need her still.

Perhaps giving my son room to fall as he grows will help him to grow into a more strong and confident adult than I was when I first set out on my own. On the other hand, maybe I need to give him my full and undivided attention as much as possible. My hope is to find the right balance.

Do you know the secrets to raising super kids? No more yelling. Your children will listen to you. Become a super parent today.

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