My friend Dr. Joe Vitale says “the only way to make all your problems disappear is to transcend them”. That is profound, and wise. But what if we aren’t sure how to do that? Problems, by their very nature, tend to get blown way out of proportion by our psyche. We tend to place a much larger emphasis on things that go wrong than we do on things that go right. When things go right, it feels more “normal”.
Ever get that “let down” feeling on Christmas morning, after all the gifts are opened and the kids are quietly playing with their new toys… knowing the excitement is over (so fast, too!) and now things are back to “normal”? When something incredibly good happens, we do a happy dance or jump for joy or exclaim excitement with a yell or two, then the excitement is over and it is pretty quickly back to normal. But if something goes wrong, it is common for us to brood over it, sometimes for days at a time.
The thing we need to learn to do to overcome any problem is to transcend it by forcing our emotions to get through it. The problem will not go away if we keep giving it all this attention. Even negative attention still pulls you toward the problem. Dr. Vitale says to acknowledge the situation, and take responsibility for your part in creating it. After that, we can move on and begin to see other opportunities we could not see before, because we were cluttering up our mind with all that negative energy.
Have you ever heard of the pattern of abuse that happens sometimes with couples? One partner is abuses the other, and often seconds later is apologetic and loving. Somehow, people who abuse are more able to express negative feelings than positive feelings. They have a hard time expressing positive feelings without first having a reason to be “sorry”.
On the other hand, why are cheerleaders typically so popular? Perhaps it might have something to do with the fact that they spend hours a week shouting positive things in the air and jumping up and down with joy. That excitement is in a sense “forced”, yet they cannot help but feel the excitement nonetheless. They are happy because they practice being joyful every day. People are naturally attracted to happy people.
It may seem silly, but in essence, you must become your own cheerleader. Positive self talk can be a tough habit to get into, but it will create a new energy in you that will propel you forward and way past the problem.
I recently went through Dr. Vitale’s Awakening Course! It really helped me to see some of the things in my life that were getting way too much attention, and to find new ways to build up to allowing a more positive focus. I still work on it every day. I have gone through the course a couple of times now, and each time it takes me onto a new path. I can appreciate mistakes for what they are and move toward improving my life in good ways now.
I hope you find your own way to get past problems, whether it be through the Awakening Course or some other way. Problems which cannot be solved are a waste of my time now. I acknowledge, take responsibility, and move on to the next great challenge with a clear and hopeful heart.